


trust

by boneswrites



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 911 3x03, Additional Scene, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Eddie and Buck are in love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e03 The Searchers, Eventual Fluff, Family Feels, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hugs, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, Missing Scene, They all need hugs, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22670317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boneswrites/pseuds/boneswrites
Summary: Set during 3.03 The SearchersMy take on what happens after Eddie sees Buck at the hospital, finds Chris and Buck collapses on Cap, Chim and Hen until Eddie and Chris show up at Buck's place with a little twist to the ending of the episode.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 19
Kudos: 652





	trust

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My first Buddie fic! I've been meaning to write for these two for the longest time and after rewatching the show, I decided to write this story to fill in the gaps of the aftermath of finding Chris and Buck collapsing. I also apologize for any mistakes, it's nearly 1am and I really wanted to post this story today. I'm quite satisfied with how this turned out, I love this family! I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Eddie’s heart broke into a million times in one second. 

_Buck? What are you doing here? Are you okay? Wait—where’s Christopher?_

_Eddie…_

_Why do you have his glasses?_

_We um…me and Christopher, we were…at the beach and uh…listen to me, okay, I swear to you…_

His stomach dropped. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t actually believe the words Buck was saying. 

_I tried…it just…I…Eddie…I don’t know how to say it…he just vanished and…_

And then, by some kind of miracle, Christopher was there. In the arms of a stranger. 

Eddie couldn’t see the little boy’s face, but he knew it was his son. Eddie just _knew_.

The tears were about to spill, roll down his cheeks when he whispered Christopher’s name. Then repeating it louder.

“Christopher?”

And he couldn’t explain the complete and utter relief that washed over him when he heard the familiar, “dad!” 

“Oh my god,” Eddie rushes the couple of steps to the lady and his son, taking Chris from her and into his arms, holding him tight, hugging him closely. He kneels, Chris balancing on his thigh. “Thank you, thank you,” he tells the lady, pressing a kiss to Chris’s temple. 

“You’re Buck,” the lady speaks. 

“No, I’m his father, Eddie,” he replies, his eyes still focused on his son, making sure he’s not dreaming. 

“He was looking for Buck,” the lady tells Eddie.

And that’s when he faces her for a few beats and then turns his attention to Buck, who’s looking straight at him and Chris, and was now surrounded by Bobby, Chim and Hen. 

He sees Buck move his attention to Bobby, saying something to their captain.

Eddie watches as Buck’s knees give out and he begins to fall forward, quickly being held upright by Bobby, Chim and Hen before he hits the ground. And Eddie’s heart leaps in his chest at the sight. Even as they lower Buck to sit on the ground, Hen’s arms around him, Buck clutching at her gear and Bobby’s hand on Buck’s shoulder, he and Buck don’t break eye contact. 

Buck’s eyes are repeating, _I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…_

Eddie holds Chris tighter, tucking his head in his shoulder. 

Eddie wanted to run to Buck, but not only was he holding Chris, but he felt frozen, bolted in place. He couldn’t move a muscle.

“Buck…” Eddie whispers.

“Dad, where’s Buck?” Chris asks, his voice a little muffled by his sweater and Eddie’s clothes. “I lost him.”

“Oh, _mijo_ , you didn’t lose him. Buck is right here.”

“Where is he?” 

Somehow, that manages to get Eddie moving. He’s in front of Buck in a few steps, balancing Chris as he walks and he kneels again, getting at eye level with Buck.

“Buck? Buck, Chris is here, he’s okay. You’re okay,” Eddie says, but he thinks Buck can’t hear him.

Buck doesn’t react, he doesn’t move. He’s starring at Eddie like he’s afraid both he and Chris will vanish if he as so much as blinks. 

“Buck?” Chris whispers.

Eddie quickly holds Chris and turns him so he faces Buck. 

“Buck,” Chris says again, a little louder this time as he stretches out his hand and touches his palm to Buck’s stubbly cheek. 

“Chris…” Buck pushes out.

Chris nods.

“Chris…” And then Buck’s head is rolling to the side, falling against Hen’s arm.

“He’s going into shock, we need to get him inside, now,” Bobby says urgently.

Eddie stands up, making sure his grip on Chris is tight and steps back, letting Bobby and Hen half support-half carry Buck inside the hospital.

Eddie trails behind them, hearing the doctor telling them to lay Buck down on a nearby bed and watches as his teammates lower the blond onto it.

The doctor and nurses quickly start working, taking Buck’s blood pressure and his heart rate. The doctor orders IV fluids to rehydrate Buck and asks the nurses to clean, disinfect and properly bandage his wounds. 

“He’s on blood thinners,” Bobby tells the doctor.

The doctor nods, writing something in the notepad in his hands. 

He gives the nurses more instructions and looks at the firefighters. 

“He’s being taken care of,” he tells them. “I’ll be around if you need anything.”

“Can we stay with him?” Eddie asks.

“Of course,” the doctor nods. 

They gather chairs and place them around the bed, waiting. About half an hour later, Buck starts moving his head from side to side, a low groan escaping his lips.

“Buck?” Bobby approaches the bed. “You with us, kid?”

Another groan.

“You’re okay, Buck, you’re safe,” Bobby continues. 

“Chris…” Buck calls out.

“Here’s here, Buck, he’s okay,” Bobby responds.

“Eddie…”

“Eddie’s here, too.” 

Eddie, with Chris sitting in his lap, stands up, letting Bobby take Chris from him as he steps closer to the bed.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie says. “Can you open your eyes for me, _querido_?” Darling. He hasn’t used many terms of endearment with Buck, no matter how much he wanted to, mostly since he’s nervous about the younger man’s reaction but at this point, Eddie really can’t help himself. It slips from his lips without him even realizing. And when he does, he doesn’t take it back. 

After a few seconds, Buck’s eyes flutter open and Eddie is met with blue, so much blue, Eddie could swim in it. The pair of eyes he missed and longed for. 

Buck’s eyes are hazy, slowly wandering around the ceiling before settling on Eddie’s face. They’re calm for a second, then they’re filled with panic.

“Chris!”

“He’s okay,” Eddie reassures Buck. “You saw him, you don’t remember seeing him?”

Buck doesn’t reply for a few seconds more. “He’s okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, a small smile forming on his face. The first since seeing Buck outside the hospital, limping, with Chris’s glasses hanging around his neck. 

And then Bobby is helping Chris walk towards his dad and Buck. Eddie picks Chris up and seats him on his lap.

“See? He’s here, he’s okay,” Eddie repeats.

“Chris?” Buck looks at the little boy, reaching out for him. “You’re okay.”

Chris nods. “I’m okay, Buck. You’ll be okay, too.”

Buck closes his eyes, a tear rolls down the side of his face. “Yeah, buddy, I will be.” He opens his eyes and looks at Eddie. 

Hesitantly, Eddie moves a hand to cover Buck’s. It’s colder than he likes, but at least Buck’s awake. He relaxes when he feels Buck’s hand move under his to hold Eddie’s hand better. Eddie tries not to read too much into it; Buck almost died, he lost Chris, thought he was dead, got hurt, found Chris and collapsed. The hand holding could simply just be Buck in need of comfort after this long, hellish day. 

But still, a part of Eddie wishes, _prays_ even, that it’s more than that. 

“Do you need anything?” Eddie asks.

“Water,” Buck answers. “And Maddie—did—”

“We called her, she’ll be here soon,” Chim replies.

“Okay,” Buck whispers and then finds Eddie holding a cup of water in front of him. He slowly uses the straw to drink some water and then pulls back. 

“Rest, Buck,” Eddie says. “I’ll wake you when Maddie gets here.” 

*****

The next time Buck wakes, it’s to hushed voices and empty seats around his bed. He momentarily panics before Eddie is in his line of vision, warm but worried eyes meet Buck’s wide ones.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie gently says, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“Thought everyone left,” Buck replies, his heart still hammering against his ribcage. 

“Where would we go?” 

Buck shrugs. “Maddie?”

“She’ll be here soon,” Eddie answers, taking a seat on the nearest chair to Buck.

“Chris?” 

Eddie points to a small cot next to Buck’s bed where Chris is curled up, fast asleep, exhausted after the day he had. 

Buck’s eyes soften at the sight, but a pang of guilt rings in his chest. “You should take him home.”

“I will, in a bit,” Eddie nods. “Just waiting to make sure you’re okay and aren’t alone.”

“Eddie, you don’t have to, I’m fine—”

“I want to,” Eddie interrupts Buck. 

Eddie and Buck sit in silence, the only sounds coming from around them, people talking, doctors giving orders, families interacting. 

Eddie breaks the silence. “It’s not your fault, you know.” He knows what’s going on in Buck’s head right now.

But before Buck can respond, Maddie’s worried voice is heard.

“Buck?” She calls out. “I’m looking for Evan Buckley,” she tells a nurse walking by.

Eddie gets up and reaches for her. “Maddie, hey, this way.”

“Eddie, where’s Buck?”

“Right here,” he guides her to Buck’s bed.

“Oh my God, Buck,” Maddie breathes out, a tear rolling down her face as she approaches her brother and leans down to give him a hug. 

“Hey, Mads,” Buck wraps his arms around her in return. “I’m okay.”

“I was so worried,” Maddie sniffs and then draws back. “Chris, where’s Chris?”

“He’s okay,” Buck says, pointing to the sleeping boy. 

Maddie visibly relaxes when she sees Chris. “I’m so glad he’s okay.”

Buck nods.

“What did the doctor say? Can you go home soon?” Maddie asks, looking from Buck to Eddie.

“Yeah, he can,” Eddie replies. “He should take it easy, but the doctor said he’s clear to go home.”

Maddie nods. “I’ll stay with him tonight.”

“Take Chris home, Eds. He needs it. You both do,” Buck says a few seconds later. “I won’t be alone.”

Eddie hesitates for a couple of moments and then nods. He looks at Maddie. “If you guys need anything, anything at all, you call me.”

“I will,” Maddie promises. 

Eddie moves to pick up Chris, gently scooping up the sleeping boy in his arms. “Time to go home, _mijo_ ,” he whispers. 

Chris doesn’t respond. Not that Eddie expected him too. The boy just wraps his arms around his father’s neck in his sleep. 

Soon after Eddie and Chris leave, the rest of the team start leaving, too. Buck tells him he and Maddie will be going home soon, too, so there’s no reason to stay.

Maddie makes the same promise to Bobby as the captain leaves. They stay their goodbyes and soon, Buck is sitting in the passenger seat as Maddie drives through the crowded streets. The ones that are functional, that is. 

“You okay, little brother?” She asks, not taking her eyes off the road.

Buck nods. “Yeah, Eddie found Chris, so…” 

“Buck, you did everything you could to find him, you know that, right?”

Buck stays silent.

Maddie sighs. “Come on, Buck. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

She doesn’t figure that out. Buck just stays silent the entire way to his place. 

It’s only when they finally arrive and Maddie pulls the parking break does Buck speak. 

“I don’t know how Eddie can stand to look at me,” he says. “I lost his son and he’s going on like nothing happened.”

“A _tsunami_ happened, Buck. And Eddie knows you did all you can.”

“Wasn’t enough,” Buck shrugs. “I almost told my best friend that his son is gone, lost, and it was my fault. I should’ve…”

“Buck,” Maddie places a hand on his shoulder. 

“Maybe Eddie was just like that tonight so he doesn’t freak me out. Maybe he is done with me but is just breaking it slowly to me. Just so…it isn't too harsh.”

“Evan, no, stop. That’s not happening,” Maddie tries. “Eddie wouldn’t pretend with you.” 

Instead of replying to any of that, Buck just says, “I’m tired, I’m going inside.” 

Maddie watches as her brother wobbles out of the car and into his house. She doesn’t follow him for a minute or so, her mind wanders to Buck and Eddie, and how they feel about each other. 

Everyone is aware of it, except for Buck and Eddie. The way they look at each other when the other isn’t looking, how they act around each other, how they speak about each other, the family unit they seamlessly created. 

It’s as clear as day that they’re in love and Maddie has seen it from the very beginning. That’s one of the things that’s making this whole situation even harder. She _know_ how much Buck loves Eddie and it’s tearing her apart knowing Buck thinks Eddie is going to reject him and pull away. 

She wishes she could tell Buck that Eddie is also in love with him. But she knows it isn’t her place. 

Maddie is brought back from her thoughts by her phone pinging. 

A text from Eddie.

_Eddie: Home yet?_

Maddie opens his text to reply. 

_Maddie: Just arrived._

_Eddie: Good. Take care of him._

_Maddie: I will. Take care of Chris._

Maddie slides her phone into her bag and follows Buck inside. 

She finds Buck leaving the bathroom, wearing sweatpants and a cotton t-shirt. 

“You don’t have to stay, Mads,” Buck speaks. “I’m okay.”

“I’m not leaving, Buck,” she replies. Maddie contemplates telling Buck about Eddie’s text, but not knowing if he’s up for hearing Eddie’s name now, she doesn’t. 

“I’ll sleep in the guest room,” Maddie decides.

“Okay,” Buck sighs. 

“Come here,” Maddie closes the distance between them with a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Buck. I was really worried after you called.”

“I’m okay,” Buck reassures her, giving her a light squeeze before pulling back. 

“Get some rest.”

Buck’s in bed five minutes later, lying on his back and staring up at his ceiling. He’s too tired and sore to move, so he stays still but his head is all over the place. He can’t stop his eyes from tearing up as he thinks about Chris, and how scared he must have been without him. The pit of guilt in Buck’s stomach grows even more, he remembers how strongly Chris was shaking in his arms when he first found him and how quickly the boy had disappeared. 

Part of Buck wanted to disappear, too. Right then and there. 

He doesn’t feel himself drift off, the exhaustion of the day taking over. And he doesn’t know how long he’s asleep, either, when he’s jolted awake and feels dry tear staining his cheeks. 

It’s still dark outside, so Buck thinks it must still be early in the night. 

It’s confirmed when he grabs his phone from the nightstand, the 5% next to the battery icon indicating he forgot to plug it in to charge, his lock screen not really helping his situation.

His lock screen is a selfie of him, Eddie and Chris, all of them beaming to the camera. 

Buck stares at it for a few seconds before he’s closing his phone and slowly moving to plug it into the charger. 

He doesn’t get much sleep.

*****

The next time Buck wakes, it’s bright outside and there are hushed footsteps and movements coming from the kitchen. 

He then remembers that Maddie spent the night. 

He gets up, his body protesting harshly against the movement, still sore all over and makes his way down the stairs. 

“Morning,” Maddie smiles from behind the kitchen. “I made breakfast.”

“Morning,” Buck replies. “Thanks, but—”

“No buts, Evan, God knows when was the last time you had something to eat. And you need it to help you recover and gain your strength back.”

Maddie then places a plate of scrambled eggs, red beans and crunchy toast in front of Buck.

He bows his head and walks over to the counter.

“I don’t have to go to work today, I can stay,” Maddie suggests. 

Buck shakes his head. “No, no,” he says after swallowing a small amount of eggs. “Go to work, they need you. “I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, and I think I want to be alone,” Buck replies then chews on more of his breakfast.

“Okay,” Maddie nods. “But if there’s anything, anything at all, you call me.” 

After saying goodbye, Maddie leaves to head to her place to shower and freshen up before work. Buck makes his way back upstairs and checks his phone.

There’s a text from Bobby. 

But nothing from Eddie. Not a missed call. Not a text.

Buck didn’t really know what he was expecting. Part of him expected this, but he didn’t want to believe it. But it’s just as he thought. It stings more than Buck would admit. 

The next couple of hours go by relatively stable. Buck tries watching tv but he can’t concentrate enough on that and he doesn’t even bother trying to read in the book he started ages ago because how is he going to manage concentrating on that? 

Buck is sitting on the table in front of the counter, starring into space, thinking about Eddie and Christopher. There’s an empty beer bottle in front of him. He lets out air through his nose, tilting his head to the side while trying to keep his eyes from tearing up. But he already missed Eddie and Chris _so much_ it almost hurts. The frown on his face doesn’t go away.

A knock on his door brings him back. And as he gets up, he wonders who could it be.

Never would he have thought that he’d find Eddie and Chris on his doorstep. 

But there they are. In the flesh. Not hallucinations. Real. 

The surprise is evident on his face, his mouth hanging slightly open as he watches the little boy move forward using his crutches, Eddie standing behind him. 

“Hey, Buck,” Chris says, walking up to him and moving close for a hug. 

“Good morning, Buck,” Eddie adds.

“H-Hey, buddy,” Buck can’t help the smile that cracks on his face as he looks at Chris. Then he looks up at Eddie who’s passing him and walking into the house.

“Okay, there’s a morning snack, a mid-day snack, two coloring books and a bunch of legos,” Eddie says, placing the backpack he was carrying on the table and opening it. 

Buck’s still looking at Eddie like the man grew a second head. 

“Between us,” Eddie continues. “He’s never built anything that kinda looks like anything, he likes sticking things together. Just right there, buddy,” he points to the couch as Chris walks up to him. “There’s twenty bucks, for a pizza.”

Buck’s face falls, like he’s waiting for Eddie to drop this whole thing and take Chris and leave. A mix of emotions are drawn on his face, similar to the emotions jumping around his chest.

“If I were you, I’d eat a couple of extra slices,” Eddie says, finally turning to look at Buck. You look like you’re wasting away to nothing.”

“Eddie,” Buck calls out, his voice not as quite as loud as he intended. 

“I will say, honestly, you being laid up is working out for me. I mean, you’re no _abuela_ and you’re half a Carla, but you’ll do in a pinch.” 

Buck starts approaching Eddie. “You want me to watch Christopher?”

Eddie stands his ground. “It’s easy, he’s not very fast.”

“After everything that happened?” The frown is still drawn on Buck’s forehead. 

“A natural disaster happened, Buck,” Eddie says, his voice soft.

“I lost him, Eddie,” Buck’s eyebrows go up his forehead, his blue eyes wide and filled with guilt.

“You saved him. That’s how he remembers it,” Eddie points to Chris and then looks at Buck again.

Buck does the same, watching Chris sit in front of the tv while watching a cartoon. And how much he looks like he belongs there. 

“Now it’s his turn to do the same for you,” Eddie adds. 

Buck keeps looking at Chris for a few more seconds before squeezing his eyes shut and slowly turning back to face Eddie. “I was supposed to look out for him,” Buck rasps out after a few beats of silence. 

“And what? You think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I care to count,” Eddie replies. “And I’m his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying. And I know you do, too.”

Eddie never breaks eye contact with Buck. It’s the taller man who looks away, looking to the side and then down. 

“Buck,” Eddie chases Buck’s blue eyes with his own brown ones, placing a hand on his shoulder. “There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”

Buck’s breath hitches at Eddie’s world. His eyes watering and he’s speechless. He’s processing what Eddie just said, and how this means that he isn’t losing Eddie and Chris. That they’re staying in his life. It’s the lifeline Buck’s been desperately waiting for, and it was Eddie who threw it to him. Something for him to hold onto. 

Eddie trusts him. With the most precious person in his life. 

Buck can hear Eddie saying bye to Chris and giving him a kiss but his brain is too busy catching up to what just happening, what this means. 

And Buck is so _relieved_ he could cry. 

“Love you, have fun,” Eddie tells Chris as he helps him sit back down after a hug. “Maybe try going to the zoo this time. Something inland,” he throws at Buck as he walked past him towards the door.

Buck can’t help but chuckle. He can finally do that. 

“Oh, uh,” Eddie stops in the doorframe.

Buck turns to face him.

“Thank you.”

Buck’s forehead creases a little in confusion. 

“For not giving up,” Eddie clarifies and starts to close the door.

“Eddie,” Buck calls out. 

“Yeah?” Eddie pushes the door open a bit to see Buck walks towards him. 

“I just, uh, your words they…they mean a lot. More than words can express,” Buck expresses.

Eddie’s face morphs into a soft smile. “I mean every single word.” 

Quite literally not having the words, Buck closes the distance between them by wrapping his arms around Eddie in a hug, albeit nervously.

He relaxes when he feels Eddie’s arms go around him and holds him close. 

Neither of them want to let go, basking in each other’s warmth.

They eventually do, but they don’t pull back. 

Their faces are so close, their noses nearly brushing against each other, looking straight into each other’s eyes, into each other’s souls. And it’s so breathtaking neither of them can move. 

Eddie can see how wet Buck’s eyes are and its his turn to close the distance. 

He places a soft kiss to Buck’s cheek, then the other, then his forehead and then he pauses for a second before brushing his lips against the corner of Buck’s mouth in a tender gesture.

Buck sucks in a deep breath through his nose. 

But it’s over way too quickly, and Buck chases Eddie’s lips.

That makes Eddie smiles and his eyes sparkle. 

Buck musters his bravery and drops a light kiss to Eddie’s mouth, overjoyed when he feels Eddie kissing him back. 

“Have a good day, _cariño_ ,” Eddie whispers. 

“Same to you,” Buck smiles.

Once Eddie’s gone, Buck turns on his heels and makes his way to Chris. 

_A few choice words can be the life raft that gets you home. To be seen. To be found. Isn’t that what we’re all searching for?_

A smile spreads on his face as he looks at Chris once again, sitting in front of the tv and turning to look at the firefighter. Buck’s heart flutters in his chest. 

“Hey, Chris,” Buck says as he sits down next to the boy.

Chris smiles and it widens Buck’s own.

Then they’re both laughing. And Buck ruffles Chris’s curly hair.

It’s all going to be okay.


End file.
